real-izations

the beach...

2005-06-30T22:23:00.000-07:00

18 years back, you would always see me hangin by the beach with my sisters and cousins...we would always play there, catch some jelly fish during low tide, build some sand castle, collect starfishes, play "tag-tagan", swim of course...it was really fun! i remember one time when i almost drowned myself when i lost my hold on the small paddled banca that was pulling us around the sea as we were playing with my cousins, i gulped alot of water, i couldn't breathe, and i couldn't swim at all...i was struggling to catch the paddle from the banca so i could save myself. unfortunately, i couldn't remember what happened next and how i survived. it was supposed to be a traumatic experience for a five-year-old-kid, but, as if it was just nothing, and it didnt scare me at all...i still loved the water! and i loved to swim! just a trivia, i grew in a house just a few steps to the sea. before the beach, there's a small garden with a small portion in the middle covered with bermuda grass, some coconut trees, san-francisco plant, santan, calachuchi, some orchids, talisay tree, as i remember it being planted in their by my favorite lola...surrounding the garden are native cottages built in nipa and kawayan wherein guests could stay and enjoy the scenery...hmm,, seems a nice place huh, actually, i'm just exaggerating, hehe!...going back, that's the kind of environment where i grew!...years past...i thought i already hate it...the sticky feeling after you've immersed youself in the water...the sultry feeling of air and the pricking effect of sun to your skin...eeeww!...it was already like that until we had our vacation in galera...just then that i realized i missssed the beach so much...!its something that i cannot get out of my system...its some place that i would be always craving to be into...i love the whispers of the air as it pass through my ears...the relaxing sound of the waves...the smooth sand that touches my feet as i walk by the seashore...just now that i imagined my self in an island...a white sand-island perhaps...tranquil, relaxing place...away from the office...away from pressure...away from people who's always rushing into something...away from any burden...away from a place with so many arguments, fault-finding, dirty tricks and allegations (perhaps im talking about our government, whatelse?)...just want to find time for myself...where i could relax ... in the true sense of the word...i could rest...think and reflect...just myself...or perhaps with someone who would enjoy the same thing...how i wish....its now...or soon...

around the world

2005-06-23T14:56:00.000-07:00

trevelling is my passion...hope i could travel the world...meet new people with positive influences...learn from our differences...share my values...know more about life...explore the world...be inspired with its beauty...so as to appreciate more what i have by seeing what the other people is lacking...so as for me to strive more in life by seeing what the other people is having...is accomplishing...is gaining...and then on the day wen im done, wen im already tired, i'll go back to my homeland...i'll take my rest...and stay...by that time, i know, i would be proud to say that, "hey, i've been around the world!, i've seen so many things that a man would dream of having...opportunities...money...fame...career...but this is where my heart is...this is the place that i would be ready to risk...to sacrifice...and to love"

phrases for living

2005-06-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

- I love you not for whom you are, but who I am when I’m by your side.

- Just because someone doesn’t love you as you wish, it doesn’t mean you’re not loved with all his/her being.

- No person deserves your tears, and who deserves them won’t make you cry.

- The worst way to miss someone is to be seated by his/her side and know you’ll never have him/her.

- Don’t cry because it came to an end. Smile because it happened.

- A true friend is the one who holds your hand and touches your heart.

- Never stop smiling, not even when you’re sad, someone might fall in love with your smile.

- You may only be a person in this world, but for someone, you’re the world.

- Maybe God wants you to meet many wrong people before you meet the right one, so when this happens, you’ll be thankfull.

- Become a better person and be sure to know who you are before meeting someone new and hoping that person knows who you are.

- Don’t struggle so much, best things happen when not expected.

- “EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS HAS A REASON BEHIND”

get real

2005-06-16T09:13:00.000-07:00

once again, phillipines is scandalized with another controversy involving the top leaders of our country. recorded conversations allegedly between the President, her husband, and various political operatives, including Election Commissioner Virgilio Garcillano during the last presidential elections has made another threat to our political, economic and social stability. the said wire-tapped conversations which uncovered the anomalies in the last held national elections (2004) in favor of the administration has a clear implication that our current government has no sincere will of rescuing the filipinos from poverty but only driven by selfish motivations. legally speaking, it might be too early to judge, due process and thorough investigations must be done first. but with the government stand on the issue, avoiding professional and credible resolution is as clear as saying "yes, we have manipulated it, and so what?!" The issue here is not the dirty politics that malacanang is accusing the opposition of fabricating such tapes for destabilization, but this is a matter of truth...the truth that she has herself (GMA) said will set the filipinos free...freedom from ignorance...this is not JUST a political issue that President GMA should take for granted. its a big question of her integrity as a leader of the republic of the philippines! She, who is the primary involved on the issue must break her silence and defend herself if she claims that the authenticity of the tape is questionable. She must be seen to possess the assurance that comes from possessing the truth. She herself must be a leader by example who will actively seek the truth and deal on issues that has a direct impact on her government. if she ingnores the issue because of the illegal source of the conflict w/c is wire-tapping, but the wiretapped are fake conversations, as Malacañang claims, then who is violating the anti-wiretapping law? they are just making the issue more complicated. yes, she might be intelligent enough to once again manipulate the situation and escape from this controversy. aside from the fact the filipinos now are already suffering from revolution-fatigue, she is still in the position to control and overpower even the law to favor her own interests. and then what comes next? will she still be efficient as a leader? not even in my dream would i want to see what will happen in the next years of her term. the opposition would definitely take advantage of it to put her down. as a definite result, the poor juan dela cruz will be put at stake, with no where to go! no choice but to live with the government that we have...if our president has atleast left with little concern with the filipinos, she must make her move now. let the people find the truth, let them hear the tapes, and let the guilty pay! if only there is a politician who is humble enough to admit mistakes, then i believe that the people would be more than willing to forgive. i mean, as history proves, people power or military take over or any violent move is never a solution. she must be brave enough to face the truth and face the consequence! hope its not easier said than done...anyways, let's just think that it is still a blessing in disguise. if FPJ was declared, it would be more complicated after his death.

...teLL me wHere it hUrts...

2005-06-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

Why is that sad look in your eyes Why are you crying?
Tell me now, tell me nowTell me, why you're feelin' this way
I hate to see you so down, oh baby!
Is it your heart Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do?

Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
and if you let me stay I'll love all of the hurt away

Where are all those tears coming from
Why are they falling?
somebody, somebody, somebody leave your heart in the cold
You just need somebody to hold on, so baby
Give me a chance To put back all the pieces
Take hold of your heart Make it just like new
There's so many things that I can do

Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
and if you let me stay I'll love all of the hurt away

Is it your heart Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin'you cry Makin' you feel blueIs there anything that I can do?

Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
and if you let me stay I'll love all of the hurt away

Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me baby
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell meAnd I love you with a love so tender Oh,
and if you let me stay I'll love all of the hurt away.....

I misssss them!

2005-06-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

>>> just had my lunch, not so much stuff to do, a bit sleepy...=c...i tried to browse on my notebook's files...looking for some significant thing to do...supposed to read about telecom stuff, go back on my previous notes, trying to be productive...(panggap!)...i accidentally opened my college days folder, ooopps not the notes ha, 'coz i dont have any, nagpapaphotocopy lang ako nun sa ever secretary nmin na masipag kumopya! hehe...i opened a file with my college days pictures...hay! i reallyyyyy miss those days! and i reaallllyyyyyyyy miss my friends...!!!! i laughed at some pics, looking back, ganto pla kami noon? haha! those were days that will always have a special part in my memory. I am so thankful of meeting them in the time when i was just beginning to see life in a wider perspective...trying to reflect on what life really is and hey, how to survive in this long-long journey to somewhere that up to now, not that clear in my mind. perhaps im just taking time to decide on what i really wanna do, and want to be as fiona. i cannot deny the fact that they have a big influence on who i am right now. through our differences, i was molded into a better me, a stronger me, with an optimistic view in life, and faith in our GOD. each one contributes to a specific part of me. i just miss spending time with them..kelan kaya kmi makukumpleto ulit noh? as in ung mega reunion tlga...hope SOON!

speak your mind!

2005-06-07T23:15:00.000-07:00

I always believe that im better in expressing myself in writing...im not just sure if people who know me well would corroborate to what i just said...they might know me as frank...tactless...who have lot and lots of words to say about anything or everything under the sun...very vocal...very expressive...am i??? its been years since my last writing, and contradicting to what i said, i never wrote anything about myself at all..!!! i could just say that, writing doesnt necessarily have to be in the piece of paper. you can write on your mind and you can even write on your heart. i love to write every single detail of the most treasured moments in my life. Times with my family, with my friends, with someone i really love & truly care about...i write what i feel, what's really in mind, my opinion, my stand, my conviction, everything! whenever a write a single word in my heart, there's always a feeling of relief, fulfillment, happiness but sometimes disappointment... i have written a lot in my heart this past days. i might deny it, i might even ignore it, but its the fact! ...and reality is, those words somehow bring me disappointment! realizations??? >>> "there are words that require to be said, there are feelings that must be expressed!" I told myself once that i dont want to live my life with so many questions of what ifs! but with those unspoken words, and unexpressed emotions, i woke up this day struggling to find the answers to those questions. Some time in our lives we become coward in facing the realities of life. We have so many fears that hinder us to become the best that we can be..because we always want to play safe...we are afraid to experience failure...rejection...! Sometimes our decisions are not really what our minds and hearts say..but because we believe, its what the situation dictates...we have to go on with the flow...sometimes, we just give up everything to our so called "fate"...we think that we are braver this way because we could adapt to any situation that we're into...we could go on with our lives and believe that life has still so much to offer...we don't want to fight because we want to live at peace...we dont make our moves because we want to be certain in every step that we take...but the sad thing is, there is no certain in this world but uncertainties...then how am i going to live my life!?! the answer maybe, atleast i could be brave enough to fight...! speak my mind and be ready to face its consequence...It might not be favorable on my part as i want it to be, but atleast, i will have no regrets! Life is a continuous journey...a continuous struggle about so many things that we encounter each day. The good thing is, being human is not JUST being human! GOD has given us the freedom....the freedom to make our own choices...life is not a predetermined course. Not a fate, a fortune, a destiny, or whatever you may wanna call it. If we are happy, or sad, or miserable, its not because its our fate, but its the choice that we take. I want to be happy, and yes I am! i want to be happier...i believe i will be...but i have to make a decision, a commitment on what i want to be...i have to make my move, stand and fight against the odds of life...i might not have decided yet, but in time, in God's time, (hope it wont be too late), i could be brave enough to make my own life...those words must be spoken, true emotions must be expressed...and actions must be done! c",)